Absolut bottle, paper, ink.  2000
Text is read by turning the bottle continuously which may induce dizziness.

You could say that I’m a woman of substance. I’m sure I am, I’ve read quite a few books, I’ve been to college, studied social science, even have a couple of advanced degrees, went to religious school, travelled, went to art school, volunteer my time, even have a challenging job. I know interesting people (they are like me, even better!), I garden (well, not like some), adopt animals. I have a family. Yes, I am certainly in that category, I have a lot of things going for me. I’ve been told I have thoughtful eyes, even wear glasses now, and that adds to the look. You could say that I’m smart, can put a phrase together. But, really now that I think of it, it’s the eyes. People seem to recognize them, think I’m someone else, more insightful than I really am. I remind them of this or that person: someone who writes papers, who carves soap, who was in Prague. . . It depends on who they are who I am. In some circles this means a lot. Say in the right crowded room, with a quick short phrase and a knowing look I fit right in. It helps when you drink and this is where the challenge is. Art and science rolled into one. We all know a certain amount takes the edge off. That’s what we want. Enough to banter on and on and on with strangers -- people you may actually want to know, and people you know who you wish you actually didn’t know (and then there’s the category of people you should know). That first moment with the fluted plastic cup is a calculated one, one with a studied purpose. Displace a bit of pain. To be and yet not to be just that little bit. In the drink corner (aha!) you carefully choose (in a matter of seconds) a palatable yet potent combination. Drink Potency equals number of people known divided by number of people not known raised by the exponential combinations of business vs. pleasure (vodka and tonic? Vodka and orange juice? Absolut straight?). You raise the mixture to your lips, careful in your anxiousness not to create a stream of liquid running down from the corners of your mouth; not too fast, you could choke. Two drinks would be good, pour a third to demurely sip from for maintenance. These calculations of course have their variables: Who are you? Where have you been? I mean mentally. Where have you been and where do you want to end up? Gauge the behavior limits of the gathering you are attending. Yes, you may be boisterous, raucus, push someone a bit, and that’s okay too, you are entitled to it. But joy may not be found in total abandonment. If need be, keep track of your intake, keep a ledger, borrow a pen, draw lines on the palm of your hand and note each deposit. Yes, the idea is to keep both feet on the ground and luxuriate in the elegance of the moment! The science of limits is a thesis unto itself! Early on I was satisfied with rosé , a glass or two was the ticket, but 3 or 4 in quick succession would (depending on other variables like food and desire) take me to another level. Another level of consciousness! (Had it been there all along? Was it a good one?) Unconsciousness or a state nearby is another level of consciousness. To experience the floor with it’s unpredictable risings and fallings can be enlightening. (You may think that you are not sure where you really think you are). That’s how it is and that could be a good topic for conversation — or maybe not. Now where was I? Oh yes, Substance, a woman of substance . . . It says so right here, on this bottle.